You're lucky to have her

You're lucky to have your bestfriend :)
She cares for you a lot..as evidenced by what she tried to tell me.

Cute.

Wala lang, just sharing.

And I thought It'd be fine

One line that struck me when I watched the film "Babe, I love you" was when the female lead said to the man he loved who after learning her deepest secrets turned so mad and felt so betrayed: "MAHALAGA PA BA YUN?" (Does it matter?)

What will you do if you learned something so controversial about the one you care about?
Will it still matter at the end?

If you learned it from other people just like what happened in the movie, will you be able to confront that very important person in your life and ask if the rumors are true?

Will it still matter even if what happened, happened in the past? Will it still hold water that you are the present to each other and maybe even the future.

It was Halloween last night but the revelation (or rumor) was spookier than the actual horror of a supernatural encounter. I guess even the question "Is it true" or the statement "I forgive you" which may or may not come after need not hold water especially if no fault was committed against anyone, just a mere secret of the past.. No more, no less.

Just a secret that was revealed in one way or the other.
No fault especially not against my person.
A thing of the past that wasn't shared. Or wasn't shared or talked about enough.

"I know it's crazy but its keeping me sane" (SCVP, 2010)

I'm paranoid and an overthinker.
But as the female lead asked in the movie, does it still matter?
If it was a big part of the past that the other tries to bury (it just so happens that somebody innocently digs it out), will you judge him or her.

I honestly thought I was open to these kinds of things. But not in my mind did I imagine that it will happen to me, whether or not the rumor is true.

Is it a curse that I am so open-minded? and as my friends would claim, I am *the* magnet. If so, what's happening here? Why is it happening now and I don't seem to be ready at all? Not healthy. Not at all.

I am ready to be honest and grow and be nurtured.
And I think what I need now is honesty. Bluntness.
I know it will hurt.. but,

Let's talk about it.

If I can be a significant other, I can be the best friend.




Trust me.

A Conversation about Love with my Kuya

Jessan
hahah
sympre.. kay we love each other
hahah

11:15pm
Me
haha
toinks
i'll pray for you.
'cause you're too in love.
i know that it is not a bad thing
but it shouldn't be the only thing

11:17pm
Jessan
and because we trust each other
respect each other

11:17pm
Me
yeah i understand that
and there's really no problem
it's just that the "high" feeling won't always stay.
Love will always be a constant decision
an everyday moment of saying yes to commitment
you grow old or fat or oily or foolish, one will stay because he/she made that daily commitment
that constant yes

11:20pm
Jessan
heheheh.. wow.. naadvice akon manghod..
anu ito ito? based on experience?
eheheh

11:20pm
Me
i just don't want that you exhaust everything
kay you have to spread it evenly
hit iyo entire relationship
diri la pwede nga "Up there" feeling every time
baga
step back

11:21pm
Jessan
balet, dont worry, im fully aware of that..

11:21pm
Me
relax, and ground yourselves
every day

11:21pm
Jessan
ok ok.. cge..

11:22pm
Me
>:D<

11:22pm
Jessan
thanks sa advice..

11:22pm
Me
i love you Kuya

11:22pm
Jessan
yeah, ilove me too..
bwahahah!|
>:D<
balet, iloveu too!!

--

Yes

I went to Mass yesterday at 7PM at Our Lady of Pentecost. The place never ceases to amuse me. But what was even better was the homily.

The gospel was composed of three parables of losing and finding.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

The Parable of the Lost Coin

The Parable of the Lost Son (Prodigal Son)

Fr. Bong mentioned that hope is very important in the process of forgiveness. And that even a single lost sheep will always be worth finding and in the event of its emergence, celebration is even more worth it.

I am cold and I feel alone.

I never thought that I will feel it this early: I AM TIRED.

Burnout.

Ang aga pa, pero andito na.

Nalulungkot ako.

Napapagod na ako.

---

In the randomness of the night, the tears of weariness are falling.

The tears of my own-made helplessness are here.

Falling because of gravity. Falling because tear ducts are weak. Falling because I am around.

My breath turns heavy.

My eyelids are shutting down.

Despite exact number hours of sleep.

---

I am so tired physically. mentally. emotionally.

I am growing weak.

I hope it doesn't end in this defeated battle.

Stand up for LOVE.

Despite its being anti-political.

---

Where is the depth of thought.

How trivial are we?

and how superficial?

so superficial, I'm growing weary.

Even without the words

I've never said it.

But soon enough, perhaps I will be compelled to do so.

Some people put words into my mouth and claim that I've said those things before even if I haven't.

and now, I wonder how or when or why will I even say it.

Because maybe, just maybe -- you already know it even without the words.

I want to be creative.

But at the same time, I am stunned.

I am silenced.

I am shot.

I am stumbling.

--

But at the end of the day, that'll still be #5.

In His time, YES.

Not in ours.

WE deserve it.

Take it Easy, No Pressure, Remember to Breathe

The revelation of the night didn't come from you directly. But it was still shocking in itself. There might be few misquotations and what not, but even the most generic sentence or phrase that you can get from that conversation was scary. Well at least for my part. :>

Be careful. I'm serious.

Your friend told me to be careful and to anticipate even more things to come.

Well I tell you, take it easy, no pressure and remember to breathe.

I think I can say that we have all the time in the world. I think we can make it. But let's take things easy so that we can enjoy even the trivial stuff.

Remember that there is no pressure. And I know that you'll understand. This is important, but so as our other priorities.

You make me realize a lot of things about myself, about my life and about the things that we can do, and that these things we can do even in a slow-paced manner.

Relax. Chill.

Everything has its own time.

WE have ours.

Let us let it slip away with a memory for every second.

:)